Some weeks sure feel like I’m a performer in a circus, not the fancy Cirque du Solieil circus either. Juggling is what I’m used to doing, between work, school activities, two different school pick ups, writing obligations, keeping the house put together, laundry washed, being a small business owner, our family’s accountant, a decent wife, it’s a full schedule. Throw into that mix three kids home on summer break? Blowing my mind.
I think overall I do a good job of balancing work and play. And other times, I don’t. This week I have felt like it started off way unbalanced. Guilt set in and I felt bad. I felt bad that I was working every day and in between clients I would try to fit in an hour here and there with the kids. Let’s run to the park for an hour, how about we go grab pizza for lunch? They were watching way too much TV, and the end of the day would come and I would over-dramatically feel like I was ruining their summer. A bit extreme. And then I would feel like a terrible wife for working three nights in a row. It’s either spend less time with the kids during the day working, or spend less time with Aaron at night working. This week it was both.
I should keep everything in perspective and remind myself that some weeks I work very little, and I should gladly welcome the times I am super busy. I should remind myself that my kids are not complaining. I should remind myself that the days I don’t work I am all about spending undistracted time with the kids. I should remind myself that my kids would rather I work at home than leave for an office each day. I should remind myself that my kids are fortunate to have a stay at home most of the time mom. But it’s always a constant balancing act of meeting everyone’s needs.
Since we have been home from Hawaii we’ve also had a ridiculous amount of doctor appointments. Nothing bad. All just normal stuff that we have put off during the school year. Here’s a peek into the last 10 days. Two different dermatologist appts, 2 podiatrist visits, 3 well care checks with our family doctor, 3 teeth cleanings, and we have one last appointment with Greta’s surgeon next week. After that I am hoping that we are done for the summer and I can feel good about everyone being up to date physically on check ups.
So if you have ever felt like I am balancing everything and able to “do it all”, nope. Here’s your proof that I have those days of doubt and guilt. That some days my kids spend too much time in front of the television, that some days they have to prepare themselves lunch, that some days my house looks like a tornado came through. And we don’t have tornadoes in Southern California, fyi.
The above photo was taken while we were hiking the Iao Valley on Maui. On tough days I close my eyes and remember those days we spent together and what a wonderful start to summer we had.