some days

Some days are good. Some days not so good.

Although I am with my kids most hours when they aren't in school, it doesn't mean I am always present. I will attempt to explain and hope that I can come up with the right words. I am a stay at home mom. I know that I work part time, but it's very limited part time so I honestly don't think it counts. Most of my work is scheduled for when the kids are at school or when they are sleeping. There's one afternoon each week that I am not here. That to me is pretty much a stay at home mom. I may have a little more sanity than your average SAHM mom because of having time away where I get to be Deborah and not mom.

My days have to be pretty scheduled to be everywhere I need to be. Otherwise I could end up making a dentist appointment when school pick up is, or grocery shopping when Greta's tap class is going on. I find myself sometimes trying to fit everything into the window of time I have while Greta is at preschool. And when I go to pick her up I am more tired than if she and I had spent the morning at the park. My afternoons are the least scheduled of all. They include school pickup, homework, and snacks, followed by contemplating who is going to make dinner. Usually Aaron comes up as the most logical answer to that one. There's usually a lot of arguing over doing homework, breaking up fights, and the constant picking up of toys, books, backpacks, food, shoes, clothes, and other random things that come spewing out of the kids school bags.

This time of day seems to be the most challenging. I think the kids tiredness, my own exhaustion which is directly related to how many times each kid tries to climb in my bed the night before, and our hunger levels climax.

I am not always present mentally while we do our afternoon of chores. Today I was. Today I didn't have any phone calls to return, no bills to pay, no laundry to fold that couldn't wait until after bedtime, today I didn't raise my voice. That is usually a good indication of the kind of day we are having in this home. I try not to yell, but sometimes you have to yell to be heard over three children. Sometimes I have to yell to the one upstairs. Today I decided to use the stairs. Today I didn't have errands to do while Greta was at preschool. My morning included seeing both my boys at their school. I love surprising Sawyer when he's on the Kindergarten yard and it takes his friends screaming out "Sawyer, your mom is here!" for him to notice. Today I shared a science lesson with Gunnar and his class. I wasn't running late to the school, I didn't have to rush out and leave when lab was finished. Today we all took turns in the car telling about our day, not trying to talk louder than the person next to us. Today we all waited our turn. Today we enjoyed our recent book purchases. We didn't argue over homework. We didn't argue over dinner. We read books and more books and more books. We played. We cleaned together. We set the table together. I realize how much I enjoy days like these and want to make them not occasional, but normal. I would love days like today to become our normal.

Today was a good day.