Gunnar: Mama, I'm afraid of dying.
Me(I knew it!): Sweetie, why are you afraid to die?
Gunnar: Because I'm afraid to go to the Philippines.
Me: Huh? I don't understand. Do you know the Philippines is a country?
Gunnar: Yes. But you can't ever leave the Philippines because of the white tips.
Me: Now I'm really lost. White tip what?
Gunnar: The White Tip Sharks. They're everywhere in the Philippines. And if you take a boat you will die.
Me: But babe, if you're on a boat how can a shark kill you?
Gunnar: These sharks can eat a hole through the boat and kill you. I saw a special on it in a movie.
Me: I'll make you a deal. How about we don't make any plans to go the Philippines?
Four minutes later. . . .
Gunnar: Mama, how do you go to college?
Me: Well, you work really hard in high school and get good grades and then you apply.
Gunnar: How do you get to play on the college football team?
Me: You have to try out for it.
Gunnar: And then after college you go to the NFL?
Me: If you are really good you can.
Gunnar: Can you go back to college after the NFL?
Me: You can go back to college to get a degree, but not to play college football.
Gunnar: What happens after the NFL then?
Me: You retire. Because you're old, injured, just not as good anymore.
Gunnar: Can you pick how many years you stay in college?
Me: I think you can only play 4 years, but you can be there 5 years, but one year you have to redshirt. . .I think.
Me: Sweetie, I think it'd be a good idea to explore other careers other than being a USC college quarterback.